Content
Zach: “Wait, so is any of this canon?”
Jack: “Well, sort of. It’s not actually in the continuity, but the answers are probably second-level canon at least. That’s how it usually works in the comics, anyway.”
Zach: “Oh, yeah. So it’s like that Hu-Man special issue #50.”
Jack: “Exactly! None of this actually happens in the story, but it still has all the ‘real’ characters in it.”
Fiona: “What are you two talking about?”
Jack: “Don’t worry about it. It’s just exposition for the readers.”
Fiona: “Right… so, do you know if we’re going to start soon?”
Sissy: “Yeah! We’ve been standing on this stage forever!”
Jack: “You’ll have to ask them.” *points to the front of the stage*
Sissy: “Those two? Who are they?”
Jack: “I think they’re about to introduce themselves, actually.”
Omega: “Hey, You can call me X, you can call me Omega, just don’t call me late for dinner! Or dinner. Or any kind of food, please! Heh, my awful joke aside, hello! I’m x9comega, some of you might know me as the collaborator on HNTBL, though maybe not ALL of you, since I know not EVERYONE reads the description, which is fine, but if you don’t then you probably don’t know this, but I’m actually the one who first came up with the idea for HNTBL.”
TheDragonBoy: “Wait, not everyone reads my descriptions? I put decent work into those sometimes! There are all kinds of little behind-the-scenes tidbits I leave in there.”
Omega: “I’m sure MOST people read the descriptions, but I mean some people are just there for the story itself. Which, again, is fine, nothing absurd or anything. Just means they’re invested in the work itself. I mean it’s not like people who enjoy works of fiction watch every single interview with that fiction’s creator, some people do, not all of them, and that’s okay. Anywho, where was I? Ah yes.
“Before we actually get into the full Q&A, I do want to briefly touch on how this all began. See, I had this little idea for a slice of life comedy, buuuut my writing skills are…less than desirable. While browsing Eka’s as I do, I came across a series by Dragon here, his Bite-Sized series, and while I had read and enjoyed his works before, most of them were fan-works. So while he did a fantastic job of capturing the characters from the media he was writing from, they were still characters from outside media. It was in his original works that I saw how he could legitimately make compelling and interesting people, I found myself looking at this, forgive the crassness, series of porn stories and I was getting actively invested in the characters! So, I decided I would take my idea and pitch it to Dragon. I knew in my hands alone it would sadly shrivel and die like so many ideas beforehand, but I felt with his amazing skills, it might become something, even if it was just a one-shot story. And from there…Dragon, care to chime in?”
TheDragonBoy: “Sure. It’s almost hard to believe that this whole thing started from that one-paragraph pitch you made. The premise caught my liking instantly, and the more we started discussing it, the more excited I got. And it wasn’t just because I liked the story.
“To me, when we started working together on this, it felt sort of like clockwork. We never really discussed each other’s likes and dislikes from what I can recall, but we just sort of naturally, tacitly understood the kind of stuff we wanted to write. We quickly ended up with this shared, intuitive sense of the world and the characters. We ended up basically filling in each other’s blanks. When I’d get stumped, or poke a hole in the world building or the plot, you’d almost always have a good idea to plug that hole. You’d come up with new characters and scenarios that kept me wanting to write more and more; ideas I found really interesting and creative. And then write I would, filling in all the details, crafting the dialogue, etc.
“I added in my fair share of ideas too, and Omega their share of suggestions on direction and dialogue. But aside from bits of workshopping, I almost never had any problem with any of their ideas, and they almost never had a problem with any of what I wrote. It made writing this series a lot of fun. So we just kept going, and-”
Sissy: “Hey, Fiona? Are they gonna ask us questions soon? I’m getting hungry.”
Omega: “R-Right! Well, I think that’s enough for the intro! Time to get into the meat and potatoes of the matter!”
Sissy: “I don’t want the potatoes, but could I have some of the meat?”
Omega: “That’s not…erm…w-well anyway, I think it’s about time we get started. Dragon, what are we all here for?”
TheDragonBoy: “Why, it’s the How Not To Become Lunch, 50th Story, Q&A Special of course! The latest in Omega’s string of fun ideas for the series. To celebrate reaching story number 50, we asked all the readers to send in their questions; they can be about the world, the behind-the-scenes details, or directed to a specific character from the series, or one of us creators. And, while I’m sorry to tell Sissy we don’t have any actual meat for her at the moment, we do have a metaphorical potato for Jack to start things off.” *cringes, realizing that’s not the best joke he’s ever written*
Omega: “And on that…note, I believe our first question is for Jack! Jack, you excited to get the first question?”
Jack: “Uh, yeah, sure.” *steps forward, excited, but glancing over all the others behind him and noting the preds among them- particularly Sissy*
TheDragonBoy: “Don’t worry. This isn’t a normal HNTBL story. I doubt anyone’s going to get eaten here.”
Omega: “At least no one important.”
TheDragonBoy: “So, for our first question: ‘Jack, if you were to transform yourself into a pred using magic, what kind would you become?’”
Jack: “Well… I guess if I were going to turn into a pred, I’d still want to be a werewolf. I’ve always thought they were cool. But even if someone did come up with some crazy spell that could somehow make that happen, I don’t think I’d try it.”
TheDragonBoy: “Yeah, I don’t blame you.” *leans in closer so no one can hear* “I know that last time you tried to become a werewolf it didn’t end up too well.”
Omega: “I think it’s nice that Jack hasn’t let his…unfortunate experiences change his answer on this, and I genuinely think it says a bit about his character. I also think it matches well with him, that ‘canine loyalty’ and all. And speaking of, I believe our next question is for our local wolf girl Fiona~! Fiona, excited?”
Fiona: “As long as it’s not a math quiz.” *chuckles and shrugs; steps forward*
Omega: “Well Fiona, our readers would like to know! ‘Fiona, since you’ve trained yourself to distinguish Jack's taste from everyone else you eat, how would you describe it? And how does it compare to other marked humans?’”
Fiona: *suddenly regrets stepping forward*
TheDragonBoy: “Looks like she might have preferred a math question after all.”
Fiona: “What are they talking about? Why would I know what Jack tastes like?!”
Omega: “I think perhaps they meant his scent?”
TheDragonBoy: “Oh, yeah. That would make more sense. She has gotten pretty good at tracking him, huh?”
Omega: “To be fair, she has tasted him at least twice, and she’s absolutely tasted OTHER marked prey, so she should have SOME idea.”
TheDragonBoy: “True, I mean who could forget the time Jack had his arm down your throat, right Fiona?”
Fiona: *face looks uncomfortable, but tail gives a little wag*
Omega: “SO Fiona, what does he taste like?”
Fiona: *lost in the memory* “Like the most amazing… it’s almost not even a taste, just this incredible feeling on your tongue, like-” *remembers Jack is right there, listening* “I mean, that’s how most marked humans are, I guess, but I don’t really remember tasting Jack.”
TheDragonBoy: “Right… maybe we should just move onto the next one.”
Omega: “Fair, alright Fiona, next question! ‘Fiona, if you could safely eat Jack and not kill him or have lasting consequences, would you?’”
Fiona: *eyes grow wide, tail twitches, stands in stiff awkward silence*
Omega: “Fiona?”
Fiona: “Of course not! Don’t these readers know anything?! Jack is not food and I am not eating him!”
TheDragonBoy: “Okay, maybe that’s enough questions for Fiona.” *gestures apologetically to angry werewolf* “You can go sit down if you want.”
Fiona: *steps back into the crowd of characters to cool off*
Omega: “Jack, here’s one more for you: ‘Jack, if you HAD to choose a pred who would successfully eat you, who would it be? Fiona? Sissy? Sarabeth? Someone else?’”
Fiona: *jumps back to the front of the stage* “NO ONE IS EATING JACK!”
Omega: “ALRIGHT! How’s about one for Sissy? Sissy, you excited to answer some questions from the readers? I think we actually have one for you based on the last question, lemme see…ah, here it is! ‘Sissy, what is your reaction to that last question?’”
Sissy: “Me? Well, I completely agree with my big sis. No one is eating my Jack besides me!”
Fiona: “SISSY!”
Jack: “Fi! It’s okay! Calm down!”
TheDragonBoy: “OKAY, I think we should give our characters a break for a few minutes. Omega, we’ve got some more general questions to answer, right?”
Omega: “Yes we do, and actually this next one opens up a topic that I would like to discuss in some detail. ‘If magic is possible, then why hasn’t the wizarding community banded together to actually control the predators, if not get rid of them entirely?’
“Well the answer to that one is simple enough. They tried. It didn’t work out well. If you’ll recall from history class, that is to say Ms. Dracoria’s history class, she discussed something called the Great Hunt. In truth this was actually a fairly massive war between the humans and their predators, and the ramifications of that war are still felt to this day, at least in HNTBL. See, way back in the days of kings and knights and the like, the humans were banding together into towns and cities, fortifying them, thus making it more difficult for predators to hunt them like they used to. And that’s when the PREDATORS started banding together, and thus began the Great Hunt. The humans put up a fight, to be sure, but once all was said and done the predators were the clear victors, keeping humans alive only because they enjoyed living in their houses and the convenience that their tools brought about.”
TheDragonBoy: “Over time, a few of the humans and preds living together in those overtaken settlements ended up finding some common ground and actually becoming friends. A few of them; growing slightly more common over the generations. So between those few genuine connections, and the human race’s utility, they stay around. And nowadays, well, I think Ms. Dracoria said it best in her history class. Would you care to repeat yourself for the readers?”
Ms. Dracoria: *steps forward* “I believe it was ‘We live the life we have now because of the gentle balance between the predators that swallow humans without a second thought, and the ones who help keep them alive.’”
TheDragonBoy: “Well said. That was some poetic, one might even say ‘well-written’ dialogue.”
Omega: “Wait, but aren’t you the one who-”
TheDragonBoy: “Wow, would you look at that!? Another question that fits right in with the last one just in time to cut you off: ‘How are humans who contribute to technology treated compared to ordinary humans? Is there a difference?’
“Well, in a way, no. Once a human is inside a pred’s stomach, they are treated quite equally no matter how much they’ve contributed to society. But there is more of an effort to keep those more important humans out of bellies. The key humans who keep the town running are generally pretty well known, and a fair number of preds will simply pick another meal rather than gurgle the human who keeps the water running or the lights on. It was an ironic moment for the one neko who ended up snacking on the sewage director, only to realize she couldn’t use her toilet afterwards. You can imagine even other preds get annoyed at the ones who cause problems like that.
“On top of that, many important humans have security teams with them as well, mostly mages, though sometimes they even include a predator or two.”
Omega: “To kind of give a brief pre-answer to an upcoming question, some predators who specialize in the art of predation in general, i.e. those who get into advanced pred classes at a young age, can gain employment as bodyguards and security detail for important humans.”
TheDragonBoy: “We’ll touch on that subject a bit more later. For now, here’s another question: ‘How do predators reconcile claiming humans are only a food source (for example, the quote "you were born food"), when they know they live in human-designed infrastructure? The schools, houses and running water being the most obvious examples, and of course the assumed electricity?’
“I think I remember the quote in question. To preface, it’s important to remember that ‘predators’ is a very wide-ranging label, encompassing many different people. I mean, just look at the difference between Fiona and her grandma. I believe that particular quote can be attributed to a teenage boy from the advanced predator class, so potentially not someone with the most comprehensive world view. …That being said, nearly every human does end up in a belly at some point, even the important ones- though it often takes many years longer. So the view may be a bit narrowminded, but it’s not exactly wrong either…”
Sissy: *wanders back into view, alone*
TheDragonBoy: “Oh, look who it is.”
Omega: “Welcome back Sissy, where are Fiona and Jack?”
Sissy: *pouts* “They sent me away after I asked if I could have Jack for lunch.”
TheDragonBoy: “Aww, poor pup. Well, maybe this is a good time to ask a few Sissy questions? You have a lot of fans out there! And it might help take your mind off your empty belly.”
Sissy: “Okay!”
Omega: “Sounds good, we have a question here! Alright: ‘Last time Sissy ate Jack things went a little dark for her, and I hope this hasn’t killed her obsession with him.’ I think judging by what we just heard, it’s safe to say that, no, the desire is still alive and kicking, just like Jack! Let’s try another one… Huh, there are actually a few of them asking that; lots of readers really want to see Jack end up in your belly!”
Sissy: “Can you ask them to talk to Fiona then? Maybe they can convince her!”
TheDragonBoy: “I have a feeling any readers who try that would probably end up in her belly…”
Omega: “Here’s one: ‘If you do still want to eat Jack, do you have a plan? But don’t say the plan, we don’t want Fiona or Jack to know.’ Well, Fiona and Jack aren’t here at the moment, so… do you have a plan, Sissy?”
Sissy: *eyes the others in the crowd suspiciously; motions with her little hand to come closer*
TheDragonBoy & Omega: *leans in close*
Sissy: *whispers*
Omega: “Wow Sissy, what a well thought out and interesting response.”
TheDragonBoy: “Yeah, I’m going to have to remember that for the next story you feature in.”
Omega: “Hm, here’s a pretty interesting question for you~! ‘Sissy you are adorable, please never change, but what would you like to be when you grow up?’ An interesting question indeed~! Have you given any thought to your future?”
Sissy: “I’m gonna be the best predator in the whole world! I’m gonna learn everything about hunting from Fiona, and then I’ll be even better than her! Then I’ll get to eat tasty humans like Jack all the time!”
Omega: “You sure do like the way Jack tastes huh? Well, here’s a question that has nothing to do with him, so I’m not sure why I felt the need to bring him up! ‘Sissy what is your favorite game?’ Ohh, sounds like a fun question!”
Sissy: “Hm… I really like playing tag at school, cause I get to run really fast. Oh, but I really like going bird hunting with Fiona! Cause it’s a lot of fun and I get a tasty snack!"
Sissy’s Stomach: *guuurgle*
TheDragonBoy: “Sounds like she could use a snack right about now. Too bad all I have is another question. It’s a fitting one, though. ‘Sissy, if you had to choose between eating Jack once and for all, or a lifetime supply of willing, marked volunteers to feed themselves down your gullet, which would you pick?’”
Sissy: *eyes grow wide; drool leaks from muzzle*
TheDragonBoy: “…Sissy?”
Sissy: “Oh!” *snaps out of it and starts thinking* “Um… Oh! I’d just eat Jack, of course! I can catch all the humans I want after him anyway. But getting to digest my first human is very important!”
Sissy’s Stomach: *gurgles even louder*
Sissy: *whimpers* “Ugh… I’m starving!” *pouts*
Omega: “Now Dragon, didn’t you say these questions were gonna help Sissy not think about her hungry belly? It’s almost like you’re trying to starve the poor pup! I mean even in the series, Fiona’s eaten so many humans, and Sissy has gotten, what, two humans and a bird? Not counting Jack, of course.”
TheDragonBoy: “Hey! Hold on a sec! I- …I… Well, I guess when you put it like that…” *looks down guiltily at hungry pup* “Well, at least I let her get Jack into her belly more times than anyone else! That’s something, right!?”
Omega: “Yeah and you’ve made her spit him up every time! Her first human! That’s pretty cruel if you ask me.”
Sissy: “Yeah! Wait, it’s your fault I never get to keep Jack!?”
TheDragonBoy: “Well- erm- sort of, but it’s a bit more-”
Omega: “Actually, I think this is the perfect time to ask the last Sissy question! ‘Sissy, if you could wish for one thing- anything- what would it be?’ Uh oh…”
Sissy: “I want to eat Jack! And if he’s the one messing me up, I think I know how to fix it!”
TheDragonBoy: “Now Sissy, let’s not do anything crazy…”
Sissy: *growls; belly rumbles; lunges forward*
TheDragonBoy: *runs screaming* “Sissy, no! Wait! I’m your creator! You can’t do this to me! Ah! Why am I writing this happening to myself?” *disappears from view*
Omega: “Well… I’m all alone… might as well take this time to answer a question I’ve been wanting to answer for a WHILE now! So, a lot of you have been asking a bunch of questions that center around the mark. Rather than answer them individually, I’m actually going to do my best to take a little time to specifically explain the mark itself and how it works, to the best of my ability. I sincerely hope it helps answer the burning questions about this fundamental part of the story.
“To begin: The mark isn’t actually caused by predators. Well, it is and it isn’t. See, the mark occurs when the skin is punctured and a predator’s saliva gets inside. But it’s not the predator who causes the ensuing mark to form, rather it’s an involuntary response of the human body. Specifically, it’s a reaction between the predator’s saliva and the magic inherent in humans.
“The mark is actually tied to the magic that humans are naturally born with. You may have noticed that Jack seems to only be learning magic now. Why would that be? After all, he spent a good chunk of years living with his witch aunt! Well, the reason is this: puberty. Once a human hits puberty, their natural magic spikes to a point where it can actually be used to cast spells, hence why magic classes start in high school rather than elementary school. This spike in magic also has a direct effect on the mark, making it stronger until the magic hits the point where it will just about remain for the rest of the human’s life. It might change a little bit over longer periods of time, but not likely by much.
“This is also why Jack’s mark suddenly got stronger just before he moved back, it was a reaction to him hitting puberty and his magic getting stronger. While I’m on the topic of magic, I may as well answer the questions regarding wands as well. A human using their magic without a wand is akin to someone trying to burn someone else with a lightbulb from 50 feet away. It’s not going to do much. The wand serves to concentrate the energy into a usable and directable form. A staff might seem like a good idea until you realize it’s pointing in two directions, while a wand, if held at the base, only points in one, making it a better focus. Gemstones might SEEM like a good idea on the surface, but only in specific cuts, and only specific gems, and as a result they are usually wildly expensive if being sold for this purpose.
“I hope this has helped to answer the questions raised about the mark, as well as why humans need wands to perform magic.”
Crowd: *silence*
Single Human Magic Teacher: *clapping*
Omega: “Hrm… sure would be nice if OTHERS WOULD COME BACK AND ANSWER SOME QUESTIONS!” *shouts backwards*
Lily: “Well why don’t I? I’m sure I made such an impact that there must be LOADS of questions about me~!”
Omega: “Oh… you, right well… yes you see… the thing… about that is… um… W-Well you’re certainly an important character b-but…oh Sarabeth! Yeah, she’s a secondary character who’s had a bit more screentime, I think, so why don’t we ask HER a few questions first, then ask your questions later Lily! S-Save the best for last and all!”
Sarabeth: *steps forward* “Inquiries for me?”
Omega: “Yup~! Here we go, ‘Sarabeth, have you ever shrunken someone and left them in precarious situations that would likely get them killed in worse ways than in your stomach? (i.e. locker-room, bathroom, lockers, gym bags)’ Well I suppose that’s a fair question, so what do you say Sarabeth?
Sarabeth: “Oh, how uncouth! I do not toy about with my food; I simply eat it. Besides, what humans would fancy as either a better or worse way to perish than in the stomach of a predator, is something I couldn’t speak to in any case. I’d leave that up to your imagination, I suppose.”
Omega: “And a fair answer to match! Hmm, ah here’s another one~! And perfect to ask since Fiona is out of earshot~” *winks at Sarabeth*
Sarabeth: “I- I’m sure I have no idea what you mean. But carry on, ask away.”
Omega: “Right, sure you don’t~ Well, here’s the question! ‘Sarabeth, ever thought about getting into the advanced pred class so you can be friends with Fiona again?’ And actually this ties well with another question! ‘Sarabeth, now that Fiona is with the advanced pred class, will you completely give up on being friends with her?’ Hmmm, seems some of our readers are interested in keeping you and Fiona together, hmmm?~”
Sarabeth: *blushes indignantly* “Why I-! The nerve of such questions! But what would I expect coming from those who could only hope to enter the advanced class as belly fodder for its students! I’ll have you know it’s far from easy to gain entry into the advanced program, and while I uphold proudly the skill afforded to the Beatricia family, I simply have not yet been recognized for placement. Fiona, on the other hand, would be quite difficult not to recognize as a splendid predator, particularly for our age. What predator in their right mind wouldn’t hope for a friendship with someone of such elegant skill? Even a human has seen the appeal.”
Omega: “Indeed! But since you’re so insistent there’s nothing between you and Fiona, here’s a question you could answer~ ‘Sarabeth, do you have any other intent for Zach than eating him, or are you seeking a deeper relationship with him once he is shrunken?’ Oh my, how scandalous~”
Sarabeth: “Why you devious cur! The very implication that I might possibly stoop to-”
TheDragonBoy: “Hey, I’m back, sorry.”
Omega: “Wow, how did you get away from our little powerhouse pup?”
TheDragonBoy: “Sissy’s not big enough to swallow adults yet, remember?”
Jack, Fiona & Sissy: *all trail in afterwards*
TheDragonBoy: “Plus, I had a little help with the rescue.”
Fiona: “I’m used to it.”
Sarabeth: *notices Fiona’s back and immediately regains her composure* “Well, I suppose I’ve answered quite enough questions for these ‘readers’ of yours.” *turns and walks back into the crowd*
TheDragonBoy: “What was that about?”
Omega: “Oh nothing, nothing at all~”
TheDragonBoy: “Oh, alright then… well, since Fiona is back too, we do have another question for her: Fiona, have you ever had any prey that Sarabeth has shrunken?”
Sarabeth: *glares with piercing hatred from the crowd*
Omega: *motions for Dragon to shut up now, since Sarabeth is looking violently murderous*
Fiona: “Um… no?”
TheDragonBoy: *sees Omega’s frantic gestures* “Good, good, well, let’s move onto something else, shall we?”
Omega: *looks relieved* “R-Righto, back to the questions~! Hmmm…ah, here’s one! ‘We see that Fiona and crew are in an advanced predator class, with most seeming uninterested in other subjects. What kind of careers do they have to look forward to? What is the most common career for a pred and what’s the career for humans? It would seem groundskeepers are easy to come by given Mrs. Lupella's casualness in removing one. Also what is Mrs. Lupella’s profession?’ That’s a REALLY good question~! Well, I suppose we can start by pointing out that preds often have careers in fields like policework, but also in fields that require more muscle or inherent senses: bodyguards, private detectives. Dragon, any input on the subject?”
TheDragonBoy: “In general, humans tend to dominate the brainier or inventive fields, as well as ones that require a more intricate, delicate touch: architecture, certain academic fields, certain forms of artistry. Certain pred species are particularly well suited for certain roles, winged predators can help coordinate large activities from the air, for example. And the killer instinct of a hunter can be put to a variety of uses. Take Mrs. Lupella, who you asked about: she works in sales. That might sound funny until you realize she's both a mother and a predator; she knows just how to get inside your head.
Okay, I think that just about covers that.”
Omega: “Good, and here’s another question! ‘What would a human have to do or contribute to society in order to be seen as more valuable than a food source by the majority? Thinking along the lines of finding a cure for what killed Fiona's father?’ Actually this is probably really important to make clear! So, a human who contributes to society enough to be seen as valuable is someone who has successfully entered a particular field, like science or engineering. So, if you’re employed as a theoretical physicist, you’re probably seen as valuable! Buuut if you’re employed as a groundskeeper at an elementary school who left a tree dangerous enough to hurt a kid, weeeeeelll… And when it comes to medicine, usually entering medical school is enough to make you a bit more taboo to eat, even more so when you graduate. And if you’re hired as a physician? You are VERY likely to have a longer life than other humans.”
TheDragonBoy: “Just don’t become a dentist.”
Jack: *mutters pressingly* “Guys.” *gestures to Fiona*
Fiona: *tail and ears all droopy*
Omega: “Hm? Something wrong?"
Jack: *trying to whisper* “Well, you did just bring up her dad.”
Omega: “O-Oh yeah…sorry about that…”
TheDragonBoy: “Yeah, it’s always sad when we have to write in a character death…”
Fiona: “Wait a minute… you’re the writer, you control the whole world! YOU KILLED MY DAD!”
TheDragonBoy: “No-no-no-no-no! Um- It was Omega’s idea! I swear! All their idea!” *points frantically to Omega*
Fiona: *glare of death shifts to Omega*
Omega: “W-Wait wuzzat now?! Erm, I-I know I’m the ideas guy but…wait WAS that my idea? I-I mean I guess it did add a good bit of depth for both you and Jack to have lost your folks while you two didn’t see each other, was that one me?”
Fiona: “You killed JACK’S DAD TOO?!”
Omega: “Aw geeze, w-wait Fiona no! S-STOP!” *runs away screaming*
Fiona: *sprints off in pursuit*
TheDragonBoy: “Phew, dodged one there. We both know Fiona can totally down an adult, right?”
Jack: *looks uncomfortable and mildly depressed*
TheDragonBoy: “Right, right, sorry. That comment wasn’t in the best taste.”
Unseen Bystander in Crowd: *boos at bad joke*
TheDragonBoy: “Okay, stick to the questions, got it. Let’s see… Oh, Jack, while you’re up here, maybe this one should go to you. You are basically an expert on the subject at this point. One of our readers asks: ‘How do I avoid becoming lunch?’”
Jack: “Oh, um… well it’s not always easy. There are a lot of things to remember: don’t fail classes, stay OUT of detention, avoid seasonings… Actually, I’ve been working on a little project. I’m hoping I can make it into a comic someday, but I don’t know anyone who can draw, so it’s just a manuscript for now. Maybe I- or um, ‘Dragon’ here- can get you a copy somehow when it’s done?”
TheDragonBoy: “I’d be happy to help ‘share your story’ Jack. Anyway, looks like Omega’s still battling Fiona’s gullet, so I guess I’ll keep going with the questions; pick off a few of the easy ones… ‘Do any preds perform any other forms of vore: anal, unbirth, etc.?’ Nope, not in this universe.”
Jack: “‘Unbirth’?”
TheDragonBoy: “Don’t ask. Trust me, your life could’ve been much worse. Or better, I guess, depending on how you look at it. Never mind, next question. ‘Are there many unlikely pred species, such as herbivores that chose the path of predator etc.?’ Again, not in this universe. Only predatory species evolved anthropomorphically. Another reason you should be thanking us, Jack. Otherwise you’d be taking full-tour trips through a giraffe or something on top of everything else.”
Jack: “‘Full-tour’?”
TheDragonBoy: “Don’t ask. And before any of you readers ask, no, the preds in this world evolved to digest humans, not give them tours. Now, then: ‘If the spellcaster is eaten but manages to keep their wand in their possession, then why can't they perform spells while inside? A conjured mana bullet or lance would hurt the pred enough to vomit them out or put their life at risk, wouldn’t it?’
“Good question. Well, actually, conjured items made using ‘mana’ aren’t really a thing in this universe, so there wouldn’t be mana bullets or mana lances as such. But, leaving aside the specific spells mentioned, technically, humans can perform magic in there. That’s the reason preds- well, good ones anyway- make it a point to disarm their prey before consumption. To be clear, it would take a skilled mage to be able to pull off a spell inside a stomach. Good luck managing to speak a coherent incantation with all that goop in your face, not to mention finding the concentration to even remember the words, let alone perform the spell. Most humans go into a somewhat instinctive panic once they realize they’re heading inside.
“As for putting a pred’s life at risk, well… I hate to bring out the ugly truth, but any human that manages to kill their pred in an escape is going to jail- where they’ll most likely end up eaten anyway. Yes, yes, I know that sounds unfair, but remember what Omega said before, this is a predator-run society, preds make the rules.
“This goes along well with another question: ‘Are there more ways to survive preds than just being in a group, like hidden knives to cut bellies, or chemicals to make the pred puke and such.’ One of the reasons magic and wands are the defense of choice for humans is that they offer a large variety of non-lethal protections, keeping them away from the jaws of predators and the law. And as for chemicals specifically, well, no one yet has managed to come up with a viable counter to a hungry pred’s stomach acids.”
???: *slosh, slosh, slosh*
TheDragonBoy: “Isn’t that right, Omega?”
Fiona: *walks back on stage with a prominently bulging belly*
TheDragonBoy: “Guess you found out firsthand what happens when you piss off a werewolf. Sorry again about what they did to your dad, Fiona. Are you feeling a bit better now?”
Fiona: “Yeah, a bit. A full belly always helps.”
Omega: *GLORP*
TheDragonBoy: “Oh, did you still want to answer some questions from in there? Well, here’s one that’s right up your alley: ‘Is there such a thing as a reverse-mark? Something that would make a human so repulsive to a pred that they wouldn’t think about eating them?’”
Omega: *GURGLE*
TheDragonBoy: “That’s what I thought. Too bad for you, huh? How about this one: ‘If humans are the ‘prey of choice’ for predators, then why haven't they been vored to extinction yet?’”
Omega: *GRRRRRGLRGL*
TheDragonBoy: “Ah, yes, insightful. Couldn’t have said it better myself. Now, then: ‘Are there any forbidden spells? Something that would make a human significantly more dangerous so that most preds won’t attempt to eat them?’”
Omega: *SLOSH GURGGLE GURGLE*
TheDragonBoy: “Man, that answer would sure be helpful to Jack and the other mages back at school!”
Jack: *looks at TheDragonBoy like he’s crazy*
TheDragonBoy: “How about: ‘Is magic currently better than technology?’”
Omega: *GROOooowwwll…*
TheDragonBoy: “Very good, very good. And what about placing the time period of the series? What decade is this fictional, decidedly non-Earthly story set in? How technologically advanced is the current civilization?”
Omega: *Grrrgrgl….slosh…*
TheDragonBoy: “Ah, that makes perfect sense. And, one more for this round: ‘Are there spells that a spell caster could use to survive being eaten, invulnerable to acid, unlimited breath, etc.?’”
Omega: …*silence*
TheDragonBoy: “Well, if they had cast any on themself, they’d maybe have been around long enough to tell you that those never really work. Well, technically they do ‘work’, but that kind of magic is only ever temporary. Keeping yourself alive in a pred’s stomach only lasts as long as your stamina, and by the time you’re too tired to keep up your spell, I promise that predator’s belly is plenty tired of you, and definitely ready to get on with digestion.
“Alright, let’s see if we can move on to some actual answers… Huh, we’ve actually gotten through a lot of these questions, what’s left…? ‘Any chance of alternate endings where Jack doesn't get rescued in time from the stomachs of the cutest preds?’ You know, I might actually need Omega’s input on this one. Omega, how do we feel about alternate timelines?”
Omega: *suddenly standing next to TheDragonBoy* “Well that’s a fantastic question Drago-”
Fiona: “Wait what!? How are you alive!? You’re-” *looks down at gurgling belly* “You’re in here!”
Omega: “Well you see Fiona, that’s just OUR special human magic. The magic of the editorial process and the 4th Wall!”
Fiona: “But- but how are you there, but also in my…?”
TheDragonBoy: “I hope you didn’t expect me to let you digest them for good. I had to write them back in; I need my co-creator after all. I let you keep the meal you worked for, though. Just don’t think about it too hard.”
Omega: “Anywho, back to the question at hand! Actually, yes~! We did plan on maybe one or two short AUs after the series eventually ends that depict Jack meeting his unfortunate demise in a few fan-favorite bellies~!”
Jack: “W-Wait what’s that now?”
Omega: “Oh don’t worry about it, you’ll be too busy being a space cop punching Moon Nazis in the canon ending to worry about the AUs. WHOOPS! I mean, uh, nothing, I didn’t say a thing about the canon ending! D-Dragon, edit my words so I said something ridiculous like… I dunno, something about space cops and Moon Nazis! Next question! NEXT QUESTION!”
TheDragonBoy: “Well, since we’re on the subject. We do have a couple questions about the eventual end of the series: ‘Are there plans for an eventual ending? I'm not asking for specific details, but I have always wondered if you guys had planned out where you would end the story or if you guys would simply brainstorm ideas and then fit them into the story as you went?’
“I think it’s kinda a bit of both, right? We do have an idea for an ending- though we didn’t during the first 10 or so stories- and we brainstorm ideas on the fly to fill in all the adventures in between.”
Omega: “Yeah, honestly in the beginning we had no idea what this was going to become. Like I said at the start, I would have been happy if this had just been a one-off short story starring a werewolf and her doomed human best friend! I think it was around the 10 or so story mark that we really decided this would be something, so we started tossing ideas back and forth about plot points and an ending. Actually the ENDING is one of the most controversial topics the two of us have dealt with, since we both saw it ending in two drastically different paths. But I think we came to an eventual compromise. As for WHEN it’s going to end… ehhh, your guess is as good as ours!”
TheDragonBoy: “Yeah, I wouldn’t be surprised if we ended up hitting 100+ at this rate- or far less. We do make up the in-between stuff as we go, so who knows. On the note of actually agreeing on the ending, those discussions were really interesting for me. I was impressed at how we managed to come together in the end. I think it says a lot about us as a collaborative team.”
Omega: “Hmmm, what else do we have for ending questions? ‘Since we’re already 50 stories in, how close are we to the actual ending? You don’t have to answer but I am rather curious.’ HA! Well I direct you back to my previous statement, we have NO IDEA! Some of these stories end up being so long that they get split, and some of them just kinda happen because one of us has a good story idea. In case you haven’t noticed not ALL the stories are ‘plot relevant’ so to speak, so honestly it might just get to a point where we decide ‘Okay, enough’s enough, time to wrap things up!’”
TheDragonBoy: “Next question, then: ‘How do you feel about pred/pred vore? I know it’s come up a few times, but more specifically: Fiona temporarily getting a taste of her own medicine.’ Well, when it comes to my tastes in vore, I don’t have any additional interest in pred/pred stuff specifically, if that’s what you mean. Not to say I’m disinterested in it, I’m just kinda neutral. As far as having Fiona get a taste of her own medicine, it is an interesting plot idea…”
Fiona: *growls threateningly*
TheDragonBoy: “But, of course, I’m sure no other pred could possibly manage it!” *laughs nervously* “What do you think, Omega? Feelings on pred/pred vore?” *gestures in a desperate attempt to shift focus to someone else*
Omega: *desperate NOT to be wolf food again!* “R-Right, well, personally I have no preference on the matter!”
TheDragonBoy: “Guess that’s all for that question then, let’s move on to the next one (quickly). ‘Why is there a taboo for preds eating preds, but not preds eating humans?’ Huh, never really thought we’d have to explain that one. I guess it’s more or less the same reason there’s a taboo on humans eating other humans, but not other animals. Because pred society is so, well, predatorily focused, preds eating each other isn’t strictly illegal, but it’s not a good look. You probably wouldn’t want to sit down next to a cannibal, right? Then again, considering the type of story you’re reading… never mind. Omega, anything to add?”
Omega: “Well, the world we have constructed leans more towards humans being the prey that go into a predator’s stomach. Though technically anything that gets eaten could be classified as ‘prey’. The reason for the taboo is because predators want to make sure humans remain on the bottom of the food chain as much as possible, so infighting is frowned upon. However, they still understand it happens, so that’s why it’s not outright illegal. Actually, I think we have someone here who has eaten another pred on-screen!”
Lily: “Well, I mean I guess I did halfway-down that one-”
Omega: “Anna, why don’t you step on up and answer a few questions!”
Lily: “Wait, HER?! B-But I…”
Omega: “Best for last Lily!”
Lily: “Grr… fine…”
TheDragonBoy: “Yes, well… For anyone who doesn’t remember, Savannah here made her appearance in HNTBL #12. She runs ‘The Fur Coat’, the shop in the mall that features, among other things, clothes designed by Mrs. Jane Eten (Jack’s mom).”
Anna: “Jane has all the best designs! For preds and humans! I bet more than a few of the readers could find something nice if they want to stop by.”
TheDragonBoy: “Well, actually, on that note we have a question: ‘Would the average human be reasonably safe shopping at your establishment? Certain other stores in the mall seem to be prone to dressing room incidents.’”
Anna: “Yes, well, sometimes it can’t be helped. I’ll admit I do once in a while have to charge a pred for the clothes their latest meal was trying on. But I promise we do everything we can to keep our customers. You won’t have to worry about any of our staff snacking on you if you stop by- as long as you’re polite, of course- and we’ll make an effort to keep the other predatory customers out of your hair. I’d say as long as you come to the mall with adequate protection, you should be just fine.”
Omega: “Say, on the topic of your establishment and of Jane, here’s a good question about her! ‘Does Mrs. Eten ever actually come in, or does she work purely from home?’ Well I’m interested to know that one as well, seems dangerous for her to go to the mall every day doesn’t it?”
Anna: “I do let her work from home. When she came to me and told me about her husband and her son, I felt for her, I really did, poor dear. She’s the only family that boy has left. As long as she keeps up the good work and lets me visit once in a while, I’m more than happy to let her stay where she’s safe.”
TheDragonBoy: “Wow, I guess she’s lucky she found such a caring pred to work for. So, to answer one of our other questions, then: ‘Do you ever have urges to eat her, and if so how do you handle them?’”
Anna: “Oh heavens no! I wouldn’t dream of laying a claw on Jane! I have to admit, of course, that when her son is around I do feel the odd rumble, he does smell awfully appetizing after all, but I always make sure to visit Jane with a full belly, just to make sure I’m not tempted. Oh, the guilt I’d feel if I ever did…”
TheDragonBoy: “I wouldn’t want to make you dwell on that. Let’s try a different question: ‘Do you know Mrs. Pride? Not trying to imply all lionesses know each other, just curious.’”
Anna: “Pride… Pride… You know I think I remember someone with that last name back in school… yeah, yeah Leona~! Oh man, she was such a terrible pred back then, haha~! I remember one time she tried chasing a human, she stepped on a rake and it came up and smacked her in the face!”
Omega: “Actually that reminds me of another question we have~! No particular reason WHY it reminds me of this, it just does~ ‘Will we get a return of Wily? Will he actually get a human to eat?’ A good question~!”
Wily: “Th-There was a question about me?” *smiles with newfound pride*
Lily: *pushes Wily out of the way* “WAIT JUST A SECOND! There was a question about HIM?! Okay no, absolutely not, you’re getting to the ME questions right now!”
Omega: “Oh… erm… well Lily… uh… Dragon, you wanna tell her or should I?”
TheDragonBoy: *mutters* “Well, you already got digested once, so…” *takes a deep breath* “Lily, I’m sorry, but no one sent in any questions about you.”
Lily: “…WHAT!!? Why those no-good-! I’m best friends with one of the leads!”
Omega: “Well-”
Lily: “And I saved Jack’s stupid life! And tried to eat him myself! I should be a fan-favorite! Stupid little-” *storms off back into the crowd*
TheDragonBoy: “…Well, that could have gone worse… I’d say she might come back to bite us, but, um, no teeth and all.”
Omega: “Okay! Maybe we should start wrapping this up before she comes back with giant hot dog buns and comically large ketchup bottles…”
TheDragonBoy: “Probably a good idea, I’ve been saving a few questions for us for the end. Let’s see… ‘TheDragonBoy/x9comega, who’s your favorite pred in the story?’ Great, just what we need, a question that will get even more preds mad at us. Well, I handled Lily, Omega, why don’t you handle this minefield first?”
Omega: “Well, first let it be clear I’m not playing favorites, and also let it be clear my answer is Sissy. She’s rambunctious and adorable in her attempts to end human lives in her stomach. You just have to root for her~! Well, that’s my answer, how’s about you Dragon? After all this one was for BOTH of us~”
TheDragonBoy: “Well, I have to agree on one thing: you do just have to root for Sissy. But for my favorite pred… I think I do have to go with Fiona. It was her character that sold me on the idea when all this first started, after all. I really like pred characters that walk that line between taking life with their bellies and keeping their (edible) friends safe.”
Jack: *whispers* “This is kinda awkward, isn’t it?”
Fiona: “Omega’s just lucky I’m still not finished digesting them from the last time. Picking Sissy over me…”
Fiona’s Belly: *gurgles deeply*
Fiona: *grumbles* *mutters quietly* “Maybe I spoke a little too soon… I’ll be right back, Jack.”
TheDragonBoy: “Something wrong, Fiona?”
Fiona: “No, go on. I just need to stop by the girls’ room.”
Omega: “Hrm… I-I think I’m just gonna pretend I didn’t hear that…”
Fiona: *louder* “I just need to stop by the girls’ room!”
Omega: “R-Right, well, moving on to the next question… ‘To TheDragonBoy, has the series plan changed much from when you first started writing it?’ Hm, I think this is a perfect question for you Dragon~! I’ve already given plenty of my own take on how it’s changed from my perspective, how’s about you?”
TheDragonBoy: “Well, I think the biggest change, really, was when we decided on an ending. Not just the ending to the entire series, but also the endings for different sections of the series and specific characters. It’s a different writing experience, for me at least, working toward an end rather than just coming up with the next interesting idea. Though, that’s not so much a change in plan as it is a change from ‘no plan’ to ‘having a plan’. Once we did settle on how we wanted things to go, I don’t think it changed very much afterwards.
“That’s about all for that one. Looks like the next question here is a bit of a double: ‘Any inspiration sources you can name off the top of your head? Also are there any tags or kinks you’ve wanted to implement but haven’t yet?’ Do you have any sources of inspiration you can credit for all your great ideas, Omega?”
Omega: “Um…is it cheating to just say anime? No but really, honestly this idea pretty much sprung from my desire to insert vore into a slice-of-life school anime. Like, think Assassination Classroom, but instead of the gimmick being assassination…it’s vore. Or think- Know what? There’s countless examples, seriously there are. I just wanted to do my vorarephilic take on the genre I suppose. Beyond that, I guess I could honestly cite the entirety of Eka’s for inspiration, and a HUGE amount of inspiration for me comes directly from you, Dragon! Often times you’ll say some little thing or add some joke in and my brain just EXPLODES with ideas as a direct result of it, and it’s 100% a credit to your skill as a writer.”
TheDragonBoy: “Come on, don’t go making me blush in front of my own characters! Honestly, though, it comes full circle, because a lot of your ideas inspire the emotions I put into the characters when I write them. Aside from you, I’ve spent years and years watching TV, and I’ve always been particularly pulled in by story-driven animation, think Disney and Cartoon Network. I have plenty of great examples to pull from when it comes to storytelling, and how to craft a character, and I’ve had a bit of practice at it over those years. I think you can attribute that wholesome, almost innocent tone of a lot of my works to the made-for-kids content I like to watch when I’m not typing away. When it comes to vore, though, it really was the writers on Eka’s (and to some extent DeviantArt) that inspired me to try my hand at a vore story and to share it with the online community.
“Oh, and as for the second part of the question- unimplemented tags and kinks- …not really? The themes for this story are pretty well defined at this point.”
Omega: “Hmmm…do we have any more big questions to answer?”
TheDragonBoy: “We’re scraping the bottom of the barrel, but there is this one. Ah, this would be a nice dream… The question is: ‘Do you plan to have artwork of each character in the story?’ Personally, I would love seeing art of our characters, but my talent does not extend to the visual arts. And I’m not looking to commission anyone either; this hobby of mine gets my time, but not my money. Also… I kinda have no idea of what the characters look like? I know it sounds weird, but I keep almost all of the details intentionally vague so my readers can imagine the characters as they’d like. Saves a bunch of work that way too, I guess.”
Omega: “I mean…I can try but…I’m not an artist. You would basically get weird stick blobs…And I don’t think ANYONE wants that…”
???: *flushhhh*
Fiona: *walks back onto stage; belly is noticeably smaller*
Omega: “Dragon, did you HAVE to write the flush part…?”
TheDragonBoy: “What? It’s a perfect metaphor to signal the ending! She’s done with her meal, and we’re done with the questions!”
Omega: “I mean I don’t know if we’re DONE, there are a FEW we haven’t gotten… to… Do you hear something?”
???: *thud* *thud* *THUD* *THUD*
Omega: “It…sounds somewhat ominous…Dragon you hear that right? Dragon?”
TheDragonBoy: “Wait… I know those thuds! HNTBL 13! It’s-”
Omega: “Oh god! It’s-”
Grizz: *roars angrily*
Lily: “There they are! They’re the ones who didn’t write us well enough!!”
Omega: “WHELP! That’s our time for today folks! GOTTA RUN! DRAGON MOVE IT WE GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE!” *Frantically runs for the door* “Not again! NOT AGAIN!!!!”
TheDragonBoy: “Wait for me! I don’t want to be bear food either! Wolf food, fox food or dragon food maybe, but not bear food!”
Grizz: *Gives chase into the distance…*
???: *distant sounds of swallowing and munching; deep rumbles*
Jack: “…Do you think we should help them?”
Fiona: “…Nah, they’ll probably be fine.”
Grizz: *in the distance* *BHURRRRRP*